Cindy McCain: America's beloved plagiarist

Well, I'm not exactly sure where to start today. This is my very first post, so I'll try to keep it semi-whimsical. That is to say, at least as whimsical as I can, considering that I'm nearly constantly enraged. Don't forget the alcohol either, as we are all aware that it rarely helps things.

So, on to the whimsy. In my case, said whimsy shall take the form of me asking a rhetorical question. You know what I hate? Liars. Now, I'm well aware that everyone, myself included, lies from time to time. Mostly, the reasons for this are fairly easy to understand. We lie for financial gain, we lie to impress someone, we lie to get ahead, we lie to keep someone else back. All that is fine with me. What bothers me is the sociopathic non-sensical lying, demonstrated in this case by Cindy McCain. Demonstrated in fact not once, but twice.

This is the kind of shit that I absolutely cannot understand. Lying about your goddamn family recipes? For the love of all that is holy, WHY? Oh, yeah, its probably meant to convince some yokels in a trailer park somewhere that you, Mrs. McCain, you of the $100 million dollar bank accounts and the privately owned jet, are in actuality just a down home regular type of gal.

That, or you really are psychotic. It is just unfortunate I suppose, that people of your age simply do not seem to understand either the Internets, or the series of tubes which comprise it. You see, buried deep, deep inside these mysterious interwebs, there is a very useful tool that most people refer to as The Google, which industrious individuals such as myself are able to use to scan enormous amounts of data very quickly.

Using this "Googler," I was quickly able to determine that your so called family recipes were taken plagiarized from the Food Network site. This Googler conveniently spat out hundreds of links to reputable articles and sources written by people who are paid to watch chimps such as yourself.

But wait, Drunken Liberal, you may protest. She blamed that on one of the young, tech-savvy staffers in her husbands' campaign. To that, dear reader, I can only say 'mmmkay', but then she did it again. I mean, really. Seriously. Twice? And so quickly after you were busted the first time? You, ma'am, need a handler. And not one of those cabana boy types you may or may not be having some fun on the side with.

Actually, I'm available for a modest fee, as I have no qualms about selling my soul. This probably does not surprise conservatives, as they have been generous enough to point out to us libs that we have no souls. Wouldn't that be funny if I sold you mine and I never actually had one? Hilarious. Anyways, shame on you for stealing (this second time) from Herschey's.

At this point, I'm well into my eighth twelfth beer, and I'm finding it difficult to continue writing in such a driving, hard hitting, balls-to-the-wall style, and I'm afraid my biases may be beginning to peek through a tad. I just deleted a line of text wherein I divulged my plans to make idol worship compulsory in public school. Thankfully, as I am only slightly inebriated, (thank god for my massive substance tolerance due to my debauched lifestyle!) and I was able to catch myself before I hit publish and sent evidence of our devious plans onto those damn Interwebs forever.

Thank God I understand technology.

Cheers!