Wait...you're not kidding?

You know what I hate? Bigots. I was innocently surfing the tumultuous waves of the Interwebs today, when I came across a charming story of how I might purchase an adorable Barack Obama plush toy. Wow! For the price of a few measly rubles dollars I could own something tangible that could represent the political tone of the country at an important time to pass on to my descendants. After hurridly whipping out my swiss bank account information overloaded credit card and frantically preparing to divulge my personal information, I actually bothered to look at the description of the thing I was about to purchase.


Curious George, I read. Strange, but I guess it could work. An association between a beloved figure of childrens' literature and a person who may likely prove to be a beloved figure in childrens' lives. Adorable!

Imagine my chagrin whn, after reading the text, my eyes drifted to the photo. This adorable toy turned out to be a monkey. Yes, a monkey. Holy. Fucking. Shit. They actually compared Barack to a monkey. Excuse me for a moment while I open up and chug my second third bottle of Jack. Now, I'm aware that monkeys come from Africa. From what I'm told, so do black people. But the creator of this product insult to humanity engages in a logical fallacy.

Here comes the highbrow, intellectually heavy stuff: Just because all "A"s (monkeys) come from "X" (Africa), and all "B"s (black people) also come from "X", it does not logically follow that all "A"s ARE "B"s. Who would have thought?

SIDENOTE: If you actually needed that explained to you, please remove yourself from my genepool immediately. You can find interesting ways in which you may accomplish this here.

So, given my indisputable mastery of rational thought, it follows that either the manufacturer or the people who designed this and paid the manufacturer to make it are fucking bigots. Barack Obama is a monkey? Sure, I guess, if they are giving Harvard Law degrees to monkeys these days. Although, since Dubya went to both Harvand AND Yale, we know that they admit trogolodytes. Oh well.

Apart from this, I don't really know what else to say. I realize that racism exists and that it is an ugly thing. I'm not trying to trivialize it. I'm trying to trivialize the idiots who come up with shit like this.

Man, I'm so damn angry. I'm so angry I just assaulted my bartender. And I was only on my third fifth bottle of wine! Also, I swear that girl told me she was eighteen! Oh shit, they don't believe me. Uh oh. Signing off for now then, hopefully my friends in the pansy ass liberal controlled justice system can get me off with a slap on the wrist. Until then...

Cheers!